Kamen Rider Dusk: The First Installment

retrax · 04-16-2011, 08:29 PM

"We interupt your regular prorgram, to bring you this important message. Kamen Rider Dusk has just murdered a man." Sampson couldn't believe it. His sister had just killed a man for no reason. "This just in the police have made no progress in aprehending this once beloved hero gone beserk.
"While running into his kitchen he called for his father. "Dad! Valentine has gone off the deep end! She just Killed a human!" A stalwart man of 50 sat at the table. Still fit dispite the effects of the march of time. Scars coverd his arms and most of his face.
"She must be stopped before more harm can come." Rapture spoke with a voice aged by countless battles. Eyeing the door on his left as he rose from his chair. "Looks like my retirement is over."
Deep in the houses basement behind a door hidden behind the hot water tank was a weapons chamber. The walls were coverd in weapons and tools of all shapes, sizes and ages. The center of this muesem of equipment was a large belt buckle.
"After this battle you will take over your sisters place." Rapture held the buckle to his waist and a belt shot out from its sides. "Henshin!" with a flick of his wrist he slid a disk into the Duskdriver. An orb of energy apeared around him and as it dispursed a figure cast in black and silver spiked armor appeared in Raptures place.

Thats all i've got so far. Please tell me what you think.

Afro · 04-16-2011, 08:51 PM

Hi, I read the thread you posted a couple days back. The main characters defeating his corrupted sister and getting her powers seems cool and apparently his dad is in this thing too. If this is like a little preview or somethin then cool but just add some more details and watch out for grammar errors. Hopefully this isn't the first chapter, I personally think you should write it out longer cuz its really small(But you said this all you had so its no prob). Take your time and good luck with this first chapter. *Looks at avatar.*...............

Click to see hidden content

Kamen Rider Rage · 04-16-2011, 08:54 PM

So far great start,and it's well placed.

D-Lord165 · 04-16-2011, 09:16 PM

i really like how you began the story with the news report

retrax · 04-16-2011, 09:49 PM

thats the second draft. i edited to try to make it a bit longer while i typed it. ill work on putting more into it. the finished product for the first whole chapture should be done in about a week or so.

Kamen Rider Rage · 04-17-2011, 12:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by retrax

thats the second draft. i edited to try to make it a bit longer while i typed it. ill work on putting more into it. the finished product for the first whole chapture should be done in about a week or so.

Alright do your best.

retrax · 04-17-2011, 09:10 PM

to save us all time im going to post the fan fic as i write it. it will be posted on this thread